


Wammys Go Shopping

by saidno1ever



Series: Wammy House [2]
Category: Death Note
Genre: Don't take these kids shopping, Gen, and get mugged, you will go broke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 20:58:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1955910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saidno1ever/pseuds/saidno1ever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like the title says</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wammys Go Shopping

"Hold, still!"   
"!"   
Mello angrily chased Near around the field waving a baseball bat. Matt cackled, hoping that Near would trip.   
Two of the caretakers rushed outside.   
Mello threw the bat, which hit Near in the back of his head causing him to fall. Matt fell on his back, cackling at the sight. One caretaker grabbed Matt then Mello by the back of their shirt collars, the other helped Near stand.

"Okay boys what happened?" Roger, the owner of the orphanage, asked.   
Matt was playing his Nintendo DSI, trying to stifle his laughter. Near was holding an ice pack on the back of his head.   
"I was playing baseball, and I got a hit, so I was running then he tripped me with his stupid car!" Mello yelled.   
"It is a Remote-controlled car."   
"Shut up!"   
Matt giggled and Mello kicked him in the leg, hard.   
"Ow!" Matt kicked him back, and it quickly became an all-out brawl.   
"Boys! Boys! BOYS! If you keep up this kind of behavior, L will not be taking you shopping tomorrow."   
"L’s taking us shopping?" Mello gasped then turned to Matt and high-fived him.  
Near sighed quietly.

The next day, in a black Subaru;   
"Why am I doing this again?" L mumbled.   
"Because you agreed with my idea to get to know your successors, and if you change your mind now… I will tie you to that chair."   
L knew that Watari wasn't joking, so he sat back quietly.

"When is he gonna get here?!" Mello whined.   
"Considering you just asked two minutes ago; two minutes less than the first time you asked.", Near said calmly, as he made a fortress out of dice.   
Matt was playing Mario Kart on the Wii, and every few seconds he'd shout something like, "Move your tail off the road!" or "Take that, loser!"   
A black Subaru pulled into the long driveway.   
"He’s here!"   
Near and Matt both jumped at the sound of their companion's scream.

"They look excited." Watari chuckled, watching the boys run up to the car. L looked at their happy faces and suddenly felt terrified.   
Mello and Matt scampered to the car and fought to get the seat closest to L, while Near walked to the car and slowly climbed in a seat.   
"Is everyone buckled up?" Watari asked cheerfully.   
"Yeah!" The blond and brunette screamed in unison.   
"Yes."   
"So, far Near is my favorite."   
"Now, now Ryuzaki, let's not choose favorites."   
"Hey, hey L! Do you like video games?" Matt asked.   
"I'm not sure… I've never played one before."   
Matt dug through his pocket and pulled out a red game boy, "Here."   
L held it pinched between two fingers. He flicked it open and looked for the on switch. Click. Ding. L's eyes lit up with fascination.   
"Where are we going L?"   
Click. Click. Click.   
"L?"   
"Pardon him, Mello. We are going to the Whiteley Mall."   
"Cool!"   
Watari took the game from L and gave it back to Matt, "I think you'd better keep this."   
"Now I like Matt, too." L said, quietly.

"749,000 BOTTLES OF RUM ON THE WALL 749,000 BOTTLES OF RUM TAKE ONE DOWN DRINK IT ALL OUT THEN…" Mello and Matt had been singing for an hour and thirty two minutes. Watari was humming along, Near was glaring out the window, and L was thinking about jumping out of the car right about now.   
"Please, shut up."

When they arrived at the mall, Mello and Matt climbed over Near to get out.   
"Go on." Watari said, gently giving L a push.   
The car sped away leaving poor L alone with the three boys. Mello and Matt grabbed L's arms and pulled him into the mall, with Near following closely.   
"Where does everyone want to go?"   
"Thecandyshopandicecreamparlor-"   
"GamestopBlockBustersAsSeenOnTV-"   
"…Alright. What about you Near?" L turned around to realize Near was gone, "Near?"   
He heard quicker footsteps growing quieter and quieter. Matt and Mello had taken off to.   
L sighed, “I thought this was shopping, not a scavenger hunt… Well, Matt seemed to have a thing for video games. And he mentioned Gamestop, Blockbuster, and a store called As Seen On Tv."   
L walked to a map and studied it. "As Seen On TV is closest… I suppose I’ll start there."

"Excuse me, Miss?"   
The lady at the cashier turned around but, seemed startled by L's appearance, "Um… yes?"   
"Have you seen a boy, this tall, wearing red goggles, and possibly playing a gaming device?"   
"Hmm. I think so, he stopped in front of the store then kept walking."   
L put 20 dollars on the counter, then grabbed a plastic bag stuffed with thick rope, and left.

The next closest place was GameStop. When he got there he saw Matt playing the Xbox 360 and screaming rather inappropriate things in frustration.  
Everyone in the store was staring at him in horror. L grabbed his wrist.   
"Hey! Oh, hey L! What are you doing?"   
L tied a small part of the rope around Matt's wrists.   
"Wait, L can you buy me some games?"   
"Which ones?"   
Matt darted away, grabbing almost all the games in the store including an Xbox 360 console.   
"Are you sure you need all of this?"   
"Yes!"   
The cashier rung it all up, "1,500 dollars."   
L blinked then looked at Matt, who's goggles were on his head, as he made a puppy dog face at L.   
"Alright… but, if you don't play these…" He lowered his face close to Matt's, "I swear I will kill you."  
Matt slowly nodded.   
L dug out a wad of cash, and put it on the counter.   
"Where did Mello run off to?"   
"I don't know. He said catch ya' later then left."   
"Let’s try the Candy shop and ice-cream parlor."

When they reached the parlor there were three security guards chasing someone around.   
"Mello." Matt said, matter-o-fact.   
Matt and L watched Mello run around yelling, "You should’ve asked for the money first!"   
Mello noticed L and Matt, right as a guard grabbed the back of his shirt.   
"Got 'ya kid! Stealing is against the law."   
"I told you already! He's paying for it!" Mello pointed to L, who was very tempted to pretend he didn't know the boy.   
"Yes, I'll pay for it."   
"Told you!"   
The guards released him, and he followed his companions to the cashier. L put two dollars on the counter then added four more, "Can I have a triple scoop vanilla with chocolate syrup, sprinkles, and a cherry on top."   
"…Cone or cup?"   
"Cone."   
Mello enjoyed his chocolate ice-cream while they waited for L, "What's in the bag?"   
"Xbox 360, Race Rider 2, Grand Theft Auto 1 and 2, Jet Set Records, Mini Ninja, Mario Super Galaxy 1 and 2, Test Drive Five, Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters, NBA Live 99, Smack Down 2, MX vs. ATV Unleashed, MX World Tour, Sega GT 2002, Star Wars Knights One Republic, Zathura…"   
"I get it!"   
L joined them, balancing a tall ice-cream cone between two fingers, with his other hand he tied the second part of the rope around Mello's wrist.   
"What’s this for?"   
"Now we have to find Near." L continued, as if he hadn’t heard him.   
"Can we go to the candy store?"   
"Maybe later. What does Near like?"   
"We don't know." Mello lied.   
L licked his ice-cream several times before pulling the boys out of the parlor.  
While being pulled, Mello dropped his ice-cream, "No!"   
Matt snickered.   
"We have to go back to the parlor! I dropped my ice-cream!"   
L ignored him.   
“Turn around! Stop walked!" Mello yelled, struggling against the invincible force that was L. Until his foot slipped under L's, causing L to fall with a splat.   
Mello and Matt slapped their hands over their mouths.   
"I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry!"   
L got up, ice cream dripping off his face, "It’s… okay. It was an accident." 

L had thought, since Near was young maybe he liked toys. So, they went to Toys R Us and surely enough there was Near, playing with some bouncy balls.   
"Near," L called.   
"Yes?"   
"We're going to the candy store next. Is there anything you want from here?"   
Near held up a dice container, a remote control helicopter box, and a Lego crate. They went to the cashier.   
"That'll be $58.25."   
L paid, then tied the third part of the rope around Near's wrist.   
"Why does he get his dumb toys but I don’t get ice-cream!" Mello started throwing a tantrum as they walked out of Toys R Us.  
L dragged the boys across the mall to the candy store.   
"I want my ice-cream!"   
Once again, Mello's foot slipped under L's, causing him to fall flat on his face. Matt, Mello, and Near stared as L laid there, not moving. A few people stopped and stared.   
"L? Are you okay?"   
"I'm sorry! It was an accident! I'm so so sorry! I didn't mean to!"   
L stood up slowly and sighed, "Let's just keep walking."   
Matt smiled and Mello punched him, then Matt punched him back, it went on and on and on and on until they reached the store. L got Matt a box of candy canes, and got Near a package of sugar-free lollipops, while Mello gathered all the chocolate from a shelf.   
"Can I go help Mello?" Matt asked.   
"Alright, whatever." L was busy examining other sweets stacked on the window display.   
Matt and Mello cleared an entire shelf and threw all the chocolate onto the cashier's counter. He scanned it all then said, "197 dollars."   
"L!" Mello's scream made L snap out of his daze.   
He walked to the counter. "197 dollars, sir."   
L dug in his pocket and put two hundred, one dollar bills on the counter.   
"Do you… want a bag?"   
"Yes."   
The cashier got a huge bag, poured all the chocolate in it, and handed it to Mello, who nearly fell over.

The boys were sitting at a bench near the food court. Mello was stuffing chocolate in his mouth, Near was assembling his toy helicopter, Matt was reading an instruction manual for his Godzilla game, and L was drinking a cup of over-caffeinated coffee.   
"I have to go to the bathroom." Mello said, after a huge gulp.   
"Me too" Matt chimed in, stuffing the booklet into the bag.   
"Me three" Near said quietly.   
L untied the boys wrists, made Matt hold Near's hand, and said, "I suppose you all can go by yourselves."   
The two boys ran, dragging Near behind them, until they were out of L's sight.   
"Hey Near, time to go swimming!" Matt teased, following Mello into a stall. They dunked the boy’s head in the toilet and flushed repeatedly. After a minute Mello pulled Near up. He coughed quietly as his curly white hair dripped all over his pale pajamas. Matt cackled and gave Mello a high five.   
When the three had finished with their business, they went back to the bench to find L, happily, munching on a cinnabon. His mood darkened upon seeing Near's wet head.   
"…"   
L tied a piece of the rope around Mello's wrist. Matt cackled even wilder, while holding his stomach.   
L dragged Matt and Mello in his right hand, while holding the shopping bags in his left. Near was holding on to the back of his shirt. 

"Everyone freeze!"   
A few masked men with guns had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Everyone froze, except L who kept dragging the boys toward the exit.   
"Hey!" One of the men came closer, and held the gun to L's head, "I said freeze!"   
"You don't have to yell."   
"Don’t talk back! I’ll shoot!"   
"I honestly couldn't care less if you shot me." L said apathetically.   
"What if I shoot one of your little friends?"   
L nudged Mello forward with his leg, "Here, shoot this one. He's the most annoying."   
The man blinked, obviously confused by this sudden turn around. L took the opportunity to karate kick him hard in the face. The man fell to the floor unconscious. His two companions dropped their guns and ran for their lives.   
"Whoa, that was awesome!" Matt said.   
"L… did you mean… what you said about me?"   
"Of course not, Mello." L lied, taking out his cell phone, "Watari, we're ready to go home. Where are you?"   
"I'm parked outside the front door. Did you have fun?"   
"No."   
They were outside now. Watari waved through the car window.

Soon they were back in the car just like before, except this time it was silent. L felt exhausted from the whole adventure. He slowly leaned his head against the window, and closed his eyes.   
"So Matt, Mello, Near did you all enjoy your day?"   
Suddenly the silence was broken with a jumble of loud words. L's eyes snapped back open.   
"Can we go somewhere with L next week too?" Mello yelled.   
"I’m sure that can be arranged." Watari answered before L could scream no.


End file.
